February 13, 1997

Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers
Viewpoint
Danny Sink
Columnist

The mere mention of the 14th of February is enough to bring to mind ideas of moon-lit strolls hand in hand with the one you love.

Images of bubbling champagne and soft music pulsate around the lovey-dovey style mush that is so abundant in the air.

This is, however, an unrealistic picture of the way that Valentines Day really works. You see, there are three kinds of people on Valentine's Day; the lover, the idiot, and the lonely.

The lover is the person who has carefully planned out an evening of romance. The male lover has purchased the standard roses and candies, made reservations at a fine restaurant, and has plans for a romantic drive on the Parkway.

The female lover has taken great pains to wear the fragrance that her mate is particularly fond of. This Valentine will, of course, be darned in her most faltering apparel accented by a sliver of gold about her neck; last year's Valentine present.

The male will arrive at his destination, spend five minutes making sure his hair is perfect in the rear view mirror, and then approach the door. Upon opening the door, said female will be presented with her tokens of affection and offer a kiss for payment.

From here the lovers will proceed to a fine dining establishment where the male will spend ungodly amounts of money on a dinner that his date will only barely touch.

Later on, the couple will venture out on the Parkway where they will (among other things) stare up at the sky and share their deepest feelings. The night will then be concluded with the standard good-bye kiss (or is that in the morning?).

Then there is the idiot. For lack of a better name we will call him Don Juan de Bubba. By some miracle, Bubba has actually found a date for Valentine's. He starts his evening out in much the same manner as his lover counterpart has. He showers, sprinkles on some cologne, and fixes his hair.

There is however a difference between the "lover" and the "idiot." There are no roses or candies to spread their sweet aroma, not as much as a Valentine's card.

Bubba is one of those guys that subscribes to the theory, "Valentine's Day is no more than a commercial non-sense, nothing more than a way for Hershey's and the florists to become richer." Ah yes, the true call of the bum. Anything to save a dollar.

Bubba dashes to his Pinto, and drives to his love's house (where she tries to hide that hurt look when there are no tokens to be had).

In the back of her mind she knows that there must be something special awaiting her. As the Pinto crawls into the Taco Bell parking lot, she begins to seriously doubt her earlier suspicion.

Over their romantic Bean Burrito dinner she begins to slip in subtle hints such as, "I bet the Parkway is beautiful this time of night." Somehow the hints must have passed Bubba by, or more likely, he did not want to have to fill his car up with gas, because they ended up at Wal-Mart for the rest of the night.

To others, Valentine's Day is a tormenting reminder of lost loves or loves never had. Looks of longing are replaced by painful wishing and self-pity.

As their friends run through the dorm, rushing to shower and shave before their dates, the Valentine-less sit and wonder, "Why not me?"

The smells of cologne and flowers fill the air along with roses waiting to be delivered to a pair of delicate hands.

The night seems to linger on relentlessly as the dateless sit and stare blankly at the TV screen, trying to console themselves with the fact that, "At least I didn't miss Matlock."

So what is the moral of this little trip down Valentine's lane, or is there one? Not really, only a simple bit of advice.

If you're a lover, good job. If you're Bubba, get a clue. And if you're lonely, don't sit around in a pool of self-pity. You're never going to find a Valentine whining that you are a loser.

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Rape prevails throughout American culture
My Turn
Kristie Fischer
Guest Columnist

Contrary to popular misconception, there has not been an increase in sexual violence around our campus. Though many are deluded by this illusion, the sadder, scarier truth is that rape and sexual assault are happening at a constant, steady rate. Only the public attention surrounding these crimes is increasing.

Rape is nothing new to most college age women. One in three of us has been or will be raped or sexually assaulted during our lifetimes. Most of us know more friends that have been violated than we can count on both hands.

The threat looms over us everywhere we go, forcing us to be constantly on the defensive. Our world is characterized by mistrust, uncertainty, and deprivation of our freedom and mobility.

Some of us wrongly blame ourselves. Some of us are haunted by nightmares and unresolved questions. We confide in each other during late night talks. "It happened to you, too?" we ask in half-comfort, half-disbelief. This is our reality.

Collectively, we characterize rapists as men in ski masks who jump out at women from behind bushes. We tell women that they'll be safe by not walking alone. We ignore the fact that 60 percent of rapes are committed by people the victims know.

Bear in mind that only one in ten rapes are reported. Even women who report rapes are often discouraged from pressing charges by people who tell them that they will feel further victimized by being in the public eye, that the crime will be difficult to prove, and that they may have to deal with negative reactions from the community.

These statistics, realities, and common reactions indicate that we have a huge problem, not just as a campus, but as a society. We represent a microcosm of the rape culture that permeates society. If we want to break out of this mold, we must all work together to subvert the paradigm that categorizes rape as acceptable.

First, we must redefine rape. Changes in legislation do not equate to changes in consciousness. Though North Carolina law states that having sex with a woman who is intoxicated is rape, the judicial board's "not guilty" verdict of "forcible or non-forcible sex offenses" pinned to the five males accused of raping a woman in Justice Hall proves that our consciousness is far from reformed.

We as a society foster notions that it's okay to force sex on women in certain circumstances. Three years ago, I conducted a rape awareness program in a residence hall.

Many males admitted that they did not consider forced sex rape if the woman was too drunk to give a response or unconscious. Ditto for women who consensually fooled around with them, women who has slept with them before, and women who first said "Yes" and then said "No".

These misconceptions feed our rape culture. Many males enter college with these ideals, and many females are taught the same beliefs and are therefore reluctant to report incidents that fall into what they are conditioned to perceive as "grey" areas. A whopping 62 percent of males say that they would force sex on a woman if they knew they wouldn't get caught.

These social mores are more prevalent in our community than we would like to think. Therefore, we must reform our strategies for dealing with sexual violence, otherwise we perpetuate the cycle.

The first hurdle in subverting our rape culture is surmounted by addressing these issues rather than suppressing them. Where there is silence, there is violence.

The more we get the word out and talk about rape, the higher awareness levels rise. Education increases, and causes males to think twice before they act and women to take back their personal safety and be less intimidated to report rapes.

It's great that we at ASU, administration included, are beginning to express more willingness to deal with these issues. True, it's taken protests, petitions, speak-outs, and media coverage to jerk them into action, but at least they are finally showing more responsibility.

Now that these issues are finally being addressed, we must reform the ways we address them. We unfortunately handle rape awareness and education with reactive, not proactive measures. We focus primarily on the victims and preventative measures that women can take.

We advocate "Don't walk alone!" and the installation of more blue light phones. We leave out an important part of the picture and shift focus from the fact that we are usually raped by people we know and would generally associate with anyway.

These safety suggestions undermine the fact that rape is a violent attack that stems out of domination and control. Women are made to feel as though they are somehow encouraging these attacks. We must focus equally on what men can do to help stop rape and acknowledge that we live in a culture that supports it. Education and awareness raising are keys to proactively fighting rape. One way to encourage positive attitudes is by incorporating rape awareness into freshmen orientation. During these programs, we must remember to clearly define what rape is (especially the instances which commonly confuse some males), why it's wrong, and the maximum penalty for committing this and related crimes.

If someone's morals don't discourage them from raping, perhaps the fear of getting caught will. These programs should extend beyond safety to empower women to handle violations, informing them of their rights and directing them to supportive networks.

These programs should be followed up in both freshman seminar and in the first mandatory hall meetings at the beginning of each school year.

More victim's advocacy is also an important step toward transforming our rape culture. After demands from protestors and increased pressure, Chancellor Borkowski has indicated that he may work to implement a victims advocacy center on our campus.

Advocacy centers help to support victims and pull all of their aids and options under one roof.

Hopefully, this resource will help to comfort, empower, and direct women who have been violated to dealing with these crimes through the best outlets.

Perhaps the biggest area in which we can work to reform our rape culture is within our own personal lives and social networks. We can educate and support each other.

Just as women who are aware of their rights can encourage other women to press charges, men who are educated about what rape is can help keep an eye on and influence other men. Together, maybe we can find the proper tools and strength to kill this beast.

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Our Opinion...

Naming Names not possible

Many people have called our office lately wanting to know names of the people involved in the recent sexual assault hearing. Sorry folks, can't publish information we don't even have.

When cases are handled through the Judicial Affairs Office, records are sealed to protect everyone's privacy. According to the Family Rights and Privacy Act, the media has no access to university records pertaining to judicial cases.

The Appalachian's policy on publishing names of people involved in legal proceedings is simple. We don't publish names of anyone involved until the trial or hearing is over and someone is exonerated or convicted of a crime. We only get those names when the case is handled through the police.

We will never print the name of a sexual assault survivor.

The Art of Opinion: 101

Do us a favor and look above this box, at the top of the newspaper. See the word "Opinion"? It's there for a reason.

In every newspaper in this nation, there are pretty standard sections: news, editorials, features and sports. It's clear what each of the sections are for.

Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary defines the word opinion thusly, "a view, judgement, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter."

Webster's New World Thesaurus gives the following synonyms for the word opinion, "notion, view, sentiment, conception, idea, surmise, impression, inference, conjecture, inclination, fancy, imagining, supposition, suspicion, assumption, guess, theory, thesis, theorem, postulate, hypothesis, point-of-view, presumption, presupposition..." and the list goes on.

People who are angered or have some other meaningful emotional or intellectual response to opinion pieces in this paper need to understand what they are reading. When people write editorials (also known as opinion columns) they are expressing their view. When readers want to make a formal response to any article or column, they need to write a letter to the editor or contact the author personally.

We are absolutely sick and tired about people getting all fired up and then writing letters that don't have a point, aren't the required length, or that are not signed. Please read our editorial policy at the bottom of this column to see what our standards for letters are. Don't think for a second that we're going to publish any letter that isn't signed. Have some guts and put your name on it.

It's fine and dandy if you want to disagree with our columnists. That's perfectly okay. What is not acceptable is when people call and harass members of our staff. What is completely immature is when people actually verbally attack staffers without taking a second to think of having a calm, serious conversation.

We're all adults and can handle an opposing point-of-view. Agree or disagree, we're ALL entitled to our own opinions.

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Letters to the Editor

Disagreement over religious hot potato

Letter to the Editor,

How do you handle a "hot potato?" I noticed Eric Thomas' article in the Opinion section, "Hate the sin, love the sinner." To my amazement I discovered the article was about the conversation Eric and I had together

I don't understand Eric's motivations for writing this alarming column. I've had many conversations on campus about spiritual issues as I did with Eric. I enjoyed the conversation and left with a feeling that we communicated, but agreed we didn't see eye to eye on the religious"hot potato" mentioned .

Let me tell you the other side of Eric's story. We had a conversation. However, I disagree with two major points Eric made. People who know me agree I would never communicate that someone is going to Hell because we disagree.

I didn't say he was wrong, but said I didn't believe his position was Biblically sound. I've investigated the issue and have developed different convictions regarding the religious "hot potato".

Our conversation never turned to attending Campus Crusade, and as such I never told Eric he wasn't welcome. He never indicated interest in coming to our weekly meetings. We welcome all students to come and join us, to hear how Jesus Christ gives us answers to life.

I'd never seek to condemn anyone. To me it seems the article has not fostered healthy relations on campus, as Eric might have thought, but confusion.

If you are skeptical about Campus Crusade and our motives, please come and check us out, including you Eric. Don't make a judgment without full knowledge We meet Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. in the Student Union, Linville Falls room.

I'm sorry this confusion was created, it's not my desire nor Campus Crusade's to alienate anyone from God's love and forgiveness.

John Russell
Campus Crusade for Christ
ASU Box 8935

Campus Crusade open to all

Letter to the Editor,

I read an opinion by Eric Thomas last week and as the Campus Director Campus Crusade for Christ I wanted to set the record straight. I understood from the staff mernber that the topic of our weekly meeting never came up, but in case there is confusion, everyone, regardless of their background or persuasuion, is welcome to our weekly meeting Thursday nights in the Linville Falls room at 8pm.

It goes against everything we believe in to be insensitive to someone the way Eric reported our staff member was, even if we disagree with someone. We've never seen anyone come to faith in Christ by telling them they're going to hell. I spoke to the staff person and his version of the story, supports that value. Nevertheless, Eric, and I sincerely mean this, you are welcome to our meeting, even though we disagree on that religious "hot potato." In fact everyone is welcome.

Neale Davis
Campus Director Campus Crusade for Christ

White girls are freaky

Letter to the Editor,

As an African American male I have some questions to pose to my African American brothers. Why is it that we as African American males cannot walk across campus, go to the Quinn Center, or go to a University social function or better yet Savannah Joe's without a white girl trying to "get with us?"

Or better yet why do white girls obviously target our African American athletes? Why is it that when you go to a particular residence hall on this campus you can always find a white girl, better know as a "groupie", hanging around "being down for whatever."

Then, if these questions (and answers) are all so obvious to us, why is it so inconceivable for Vanessa Urella (sic), Chancellor Francis Borkowski and Vice Chancellor Greg Blimling (and there are others as well) to realize this. Could it be that they are just taken back by the thought of a white girl consenting to having sex with one or more African American men? Well believe it, it happens everyday, all day. And yes as I mentioned earlier, they (white girls) are down for whatever.

A question for Ms. Urruela. Why did you state in your "opinion" article in Tuesday's issue of the Appalachian, "that some people are going to be angry when they read the punishments the University Board recommended to the men accused of recently raping a firstyear student?"

I believe it was placed on the front page of the newspaper that you write for and obviously do not read that the "five men were guilty of lewd, indecent or obscene conduct but not guilty of forcible or non-forcible sex offenses." First of all, why does it matter that she was a first year student? What does that mean? Is she pure and naive? The first year is when these white girls are most "freaky." They get away from home, away from Mom and Dad and want to try the "Black Experience."

Also Vanessa, there is no doubt in my mind that there are some angry people, myself included, angry about the non-punishment of all parties involved in the lewd, indecent and obscene conduct. This applies to the alleged assailants and alleged victim as well. Yes, you are right, there were only seven people who know what happened in the residence hall so it is not for you or me to judge or convict either party.

Since you mentioned the punishments exacted by the University being too light, by the outcome of the case, it can be concluded that there indeed was no case.

And lastly Ms. Urruela, do you know who I pity? The men who will attend Appalachian in the coming years and be falsely accused of anything. You said you don't want people who sexually assault women on this campus? Well, I don't want white girls who want to be with African American men and then for some reason want to scream rape or sexual assault on this campus either!

Rolondo R. Enoch
ASU Box 13373

Lockdowns don't violate rights

Letter to the Editor,

I am writing in response to the response to (careful folks, this gets confusing) the teach-ins and the campus-wide lock down. I must be the only person who remembers the rage felt by students after the raping of multiple ASU women.

This past week the University answered the cries and took action. What happens? All of a sudden we turn into a collection of whining, snivelling (sic) children crying about how our rights were "taken away." Now think about this. Imagine walking home from a late night at the library (this is for you men also; you are not invulnerable to rape) and before you can think to scream, your most basic rights are snatched away from you. No, I'm not talking about your right to visit your boyfriend in his dorm. I'm talking about your right to be safe; your right to choose your sexual partner; perhaps even your right to live. You've been raped. Renee Cagla (sic) claimed that last Tuesday felt "oppressive" and that she "didn't like it."

If you think no visitation for a day and one mandatory meeting is oppressive, Renee, then I wish you would consider how oppressed you would feel being gang raped in your own dorm building.

The lock down was to increase our awareness of the recent rapes on and off campus. If the lock down made you angry, if it made you feel oppressed, good. It should have. Maybe now we can see what life would be like if we don't take alternative action now.

Dena Light
ASU Box 14835

Library seeks input

Letter to the Editor,

The faculty and staff of the University Library were so pleased to see your editorial in the January 30 issue of The Appalachian concerning the need for a new library. We sincerely appreciate your voicing the opinion that the University needs a state-of-the-art library to serve our 12,000 students. Appalachian students clearly deserve a new library.

It is truly exciting for us to begin the planning stages for this facility although, as you mentioned in the editorial, it won't be built overnight. During this process, we will certainly encourage students to offer suggestions on what they would like to see in the new building.

Thank you again for your continuing support of our efforts to provide a top-quality library for our students.

Yours sincerely,
Mary Reichel
University Librarian

Y'all need ta learn how to spell

Letter to the Editor,

Should The Appalachian ever be considered a "real" newspaper, I would certainly hope a trained and skilled Proofreader would be hired.

I cannot count the number of times that I found errors in spelling and grammar. Not to mention the poor quality of the editing. The overall impression I get when I read this newspaper is one of disgust. To be called a newspaper is one thing; to make and print errors only leads me to believe that the entire staff of the (sic) The Appalachian just doesn't care enough to do a thing about it.

I enjoy reading the campus newspaper very much. Even more enjoyable to me is reading a well produced paper, without the lame and unexcusable errors.

Dan Cummins
ASU Box 18068

Enough with the apathy already

Letter to the Editor,

I have been wondering for some time now why the attendance at both the men's and women's basketball games here on campus is so low. At first I thought it was a lack of interest in sports by the student body, yet every other person on campus seems to be wearing Carolina or Duke paraphernalia.

There are more than 12,000 students attending ASU, all who get in free to games, and the gym bleachers still resemble a high school crowd on game day. Now I admit there have been a few exceptions, like the men's games vs. Davidson and Western Carolina where the crowd was of decent size. And coincidently, the Mountaineers won both of those games. However, large crowds are the exception rather than the rule.

It is time for this campus to come out in mass support of our basketball teams. Being from the West Coast, I was always told Carolina was basketball heaven, and this heaven is not only found on Tobacco Road. The women's team went undefeated in conference last season and went on to the ‘Big Dance.' This season they are still in the hunt to repeat as Southern Conference Champions. Under new coach Buzz Peterson, the men's team has already doubled its win total from last season, and is poised for a big run in the Southern Conference Tournament.

Where are the fraternities, sororities, campus clubs and organizations, that support the football team so consistently? Even the individuals not involved in campus organizations should feel the need to cheer on our Mountaineer basketball players. Let's show these student-athletes that we care about the success of our athletic programs and the notoriety of our university. Let's "Raise the Roof" in Varsity Gym for the final three home games and pack it to capacity. The players and coaches will greatly appreciate it, and you'll be rewarded by witnessing some exceptional talent make a run for the post-season.

Jonathan Evans
ASU BOX 12377

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