Last Sunday, Justin Timberlake used his Grammy Acceptance speech
as a platform to apologize for the whole boob-flashing thing.
“I know it’s been a rough week on everybody,”
Timberlake said. “And what happened was completely unintentional,
completely regrettable and I apologize if you guys were offended.”
This apology stemmed from an ultimatum given to Timberlake from
CBS, who also broadcasts the Grammys. Timberlake was told to apologize
or not show up at all.
Meanwhile, Janet Jackson chose to videotape her apology.
In other CBS news, the network has also apologized profusely for
that night’s OutKast performance, where singer Andre 3000
donned Indian garb and dancers emerged from a teepee with feather
headdresses and skirts.
Over at NBC, late night comedy host Conan O’Brien had to issue
an apology to Quebec for a recent Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog
sketch where Triumph poked fun at French Canada.
Alexa McDonough, a member of Parliament for the New Democratic Party,
said the sketch was “vile and vicious” and amounted
to hate mongering.
He also suggested that Canada demand the $750,000 it paid to have
O’Brien visit back.
Everywhere you turn, people are apologizing for things that, honestly,
really don’t matter.
It leads me to ponder the question: When did people turn into such
cry-babies?
Seriously, when did we as Americans start getting our panties in
a twist over the most miniscule of things?
Now I’ve never been one to agree with all the whiners who
write in complaining, “The Appalachian doesn’t cover
real news! How can you care about Vera Bradley when the indigenous
peoples of Whereveristan are experiencing a 100 year-long civil
war and economic depravity at the hands of THE MAN!”
To be honest I still don’t agree with those people. You want
that kind of coverage, read the fuse.
But seeing as how I’m the entertainment guy, and this is entertainment
related, I’d like to just throw a few ideas out there to mull
around in your heads.
To me, it seems that being highly offended has become en vogue in
the wake of a post-nipple America. On a still night, if you listen
closely, you can hear the collective huffing and puffing of a million
moral-minded, sensible and altogether easily-persuaded idiots.
It’s true, if you were offended by any of the things listed
above, chances are you are just taking yourself too damn seriously.
So let’s see here, why all of the sudden are entertainers
doing provocative things but don’t have the sand to tell folks
where to shove their complaints?
I long for the days when Ice-T and his band Body Count made no apologies
for the incredible song “Cop Killer,” up until the record
label was forced to remove the song (which was replaced with an
equally venomous track called “Freedom of Speech”).
What happened to Eddie Murphy tearing Bill Cosby a new one when
Cosby tried to chastise Murphy’s use of profanity?
Where in the name of all that is good is someone who will look all
these soccer moms covering their children’s eyes and ears
dead on and tell them, quite plainly, “Piss off!”
Where is the voice to stand up against anti-defamation groups who
don’t know a single thing about that oskie-woskie, yet are
convinced OutKast are purveyors of hate?
Unless we are willing to stand up to a legion of mini-van driving,
(complete with magnets of soccer balls and ballet slippers) creeping
up on over-the-hill trophy wives and a unified front of pantywaists
that can’t take a joke (God forbid an artistic statement),
we’re all doomed to a lifetime of safe-as-milk innuendo and
politically correct what-have-you.
I’m not trying to stretch myself too thin with deep commentary
about our asinine American pop culture, but it just seems to me
that in the long run, people caring about some uppity frenchies,
nipples or Andre 3000 is flat out stupid.
Oh, I’m sorry, did I upset you? Please forgive me. It was
a brash statement and I feel it was misinterpreted. I hope you will
find it in your hearts to forgive me so that we can work past this
trying situation.
Dorks.
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