If you’ve ever
been to a party here at Appalachian State University, then chances
are you’ve run into the following situation. There you are,
enjoying the evening when suddenly an unsettling mood sets in. Before
you know it, a crowd has congregated around two individuals screaming
their heads off at each other.
In this bizarre ritual you get to witness two guys trying to put
on their meanest look while beating their chest with their arms,
screaming something to the effect of “What?! What?!”
I’m pretty sure that they’re not asking a particular question.
Maybe they should be asking something to the effect of “What
are we doing?” “What are we hoping to accomplish by acting
like this?” or “What are we attempting to prove to everyone
watching us?”
Instead, the banter goes on. Throw in a few slurs about the other
party’s mother or their sexual orientation and you have yourself
a good ol’ fashioned fight.
So let’s look at your typical college fight. Usually, you find
two males fighting over some misconstrued action that the other
party took personally, a girl or even something simple as “Dude,
you jumped in front of me in line for the keg.”
After as much grandstanding as the two can possibly take, we finally
get down to the physical aspect of the fight. One guys pushes another
guy, the other guy pushes that guy back. Then all of their friends
come in, breaking it up. After this slapping match a little more
screaming is followed by the two parties storming off, claiming
they would have “laid that dude out if ya’ll hadn’t
stepped in.”
So after a heated situation over something so mundane, an outside
observer has to simply wonder, in the words of the now-decrepit
Mick Jagger during the Rolling Stones concert at Altamont: “People,
people, why are we fighting?
Unfortunately, the Hell’s Angels hired as the show’s security
at Altamont didn’t put much thought into the question and beat
a poor hippie to death.
With that question in mind, I think I’ve come up with the answer.
While walking past the L.S. Dougherty Building, some pseudo-revolutionary
had taken it upon themselves to tag the phrase “re-evolve”
onto the side of the building. While nothing profound has ever been
written in the medium of sidewalk chalk or spray paint on the side
of a home economics building, it definitely had some semblance of
meaning when it comes to the subject at hand.
If any of you have ever watched the Discovery Channel, you may have
stumbled upon a program about alpha male behavior among monkeys.
Alpha males are the most dominant of their society, earning their
status in part through confrontation, i.e. beating their chests
and howling. In turn, alpha males generally have greater access
to food, sex and other desirable things.
So why do people participate in fighting? Why do two reasonably
intelligent adults take a step down the evolutionary ladder? To
impress people? To win the respect of others in the group? Or just
to mask their inability to communicate their feelings to someone
while at the same time masking over their insecurities? The question
that bothers me most is why some people are actually proud of being
able to do things a monkey can do; that is, fight and mate. Listen
to it sometime. “Dude, I went to this party, and this guy was
messing with me so I kicked his ass, and then I went home with this
girl, and I don’t remember her name.”
What do they want, a medal? Congratulations, you can accomplish
the same things as a primate.
The next time you have a throwback to the ape beating his arms against
his puffed-out chest while hollering incoherently that you looked
at his girlfriend the wrong way, don’t take it personally.
Some people just have trouble evolving and think people will be
impressed that they are doing things a monkey could do. If you want
a real challenge, try to stifle your laughter until they stomp away
thinking that they’re somehow more superior. |
