Long-distance relationship no problem for ASU couple

April Klaassen - Features Beat

Some skeptics may not believe “love knows no boundaries.” This couple may change their minds.

Juniors Andy Wagner and Charla Moats may appear to be a typical couple at first glance, holding hands and finishing each other’s sentences. However, when someone asks them how they met, the uniqueness of their relationship is apparent. “We tell them that we met on the Internet, and they start with the questions,” said Moats.

Meeting on the Internet, a long-distance relationship seemed inevitable. However, the distance would not keep Wagner and Moats apart. Wagner, originally from Scotland, came all the way to Appalachian State University so he and Moats could be together.

The saga began in May 1999 when Wagner and Moats met on a book club chat and became friends. “It was just a friendship [in the beginning]. We were in group chat with people from the book club, so I didn’t really know him in person,” said Moats. “Everyone kind of became friends there, so we just talked about anything.”

In addition to communicating through the chat room, Wagner and Moats began communicating over the phone. Long distance calls proved to be a challenge for both of them. “It was really hard to understand him because of his accent,” said Moats. “I had trouble with that for a while.”

“I was completely nervous,” said Wagner. “I wasn’t used to speaking to someone in America. I couldn’t understand her very well.”

Conversation on the phone also became awkward. “Online, we could talk for two hours at a time, but when we talked on the phone it was like we didn’t know what to say,” said Moats.

Long distance phone bills also became a problem. “It [talking on the phone] became pretty expensive as well,” said Wagner.

“But that never stopped us in the future, after we met [in person],” said Moats.

The online talks and phone conversations sparked a romance, but a dating relationship was not official. “While we were still talking online, we did become more romantic after a while, before he even came out here. We weren’t officially dating, just talking specifically,” said Moats.

Communicating exclusively online and on the phone left gaps in their friendship. “We talked a lot and I learned a lot definitely, but I don’t think I really knew him,” said Moats. “Of course, you don’t know anyone’s mannerisms, habits or what they are really like. When you first talk to someone [online] they might seem nicer than they really
might be.”

“You don’t know their personality or temperaments,” added Wagner.

FIRST-TIME MEETING

A month after they met online, Wagner flew to America, driven by a desire to meet Moats, a romantic interest, and perhaps jealousy. “I was talking to another guy from the book club who is from Wales,” said Moats. “He flew out here first, and I think that might be part of the reason he [Andy] flew out here. Somebody got a little jealous because the guy from Wales told me he loved me. I think that might be the reason why he actually came out here to see me.”

Looking around sheepishly, Wagner made no comment.

Although Wagner was romantically interested in Moats, he was not expecting a relationship to form. “Neither of us were really expecting for this to happen,” said Wagner. “I came here but I wasn’t expecting for this much to happen, but I’m glad it did.”

“You better be,” said Moats.

“I was hoping something more would happen, but I wasn’t sure,” said Wagner.

Before meeting in person, Wagner and Moats only had a slight idea of each other’s appearances. “He sent a picture of him when he was 16 years old,” said Moats. “He was 21 when he came up, so it was a five-year-old picture.”

The mystery of each other’s appearances caused difficulties for the soon-to-be couple upon Andy’s arrival. “I got lost at the airport,” said Wagner.

“And we couldn’t find him,” said Moats. “I didn’t know where he went.”

“My plane arrived early, so I went to get my baggage,” said Wagner.
“As I was walking down the terminal, I had to go to the bathroom because I was about to meet someone I’d never met before. While I was in the bathroom, she walked past on her way to the gate.”

“And he didn’t think to go back,” added Moats.

Eventually, Wagner called Moats’s mom in order to find her. “I phoned her house and her mom gave me a description of the person she was with,” said Wagner.

“You can’t miss him,” said Moats. “He’s a huge guy with red hair.”

“I actually recognized the guy before I recognized Charla because he was towering over her,” said Wagner.

“When we found each other we were relieved,” said Moats.

Not knowing what Wagner was like, Moats was nervous at their first meeting. Wagner feared for his life. “It was very nerve-racking the first time we met,” said Moats. “I had extreme nerves. We were both really nervous.”

“She brought a 6-foot-5, 400-pound guy with her,” said Wagner.

“My mom made me bring someone along with me in case he was an axe murderer,” explained Moats. “She thought he was going to be an axe murderer because we met online and we’d never met in person. She was scared for me to be alone with him in the airport.”

“So, she [Moats] brought a friend who could basically pound me into the concrete with his bare hands,” said Wagner.

“I didn’t know what you were like. You could have been a 60-year-old freak or something,” said Moats.

After spending a few weeks together, their relationship took off, but Wagner had to return to Scotland. They saw each other again in
January 2000 and then again the following summer. However, being thousands of miles apart was hard for the couple. “It was difficult,” said Moats. “We talked almost every single night—online and sometimes on the phone. I had a $600 phone bill.”

“And I had a $500 phone bill when you convert it [to dollars],” added Wagner.

“We spent a lot of time online,” said Moats. “It was six months after we first met that we met again and then five months when we met again after that, so there were pretty big spaces in between.”

The time difference between North Carolina and Scotland also challenged the maintenance of their relationship. “The time difference between us made it quite difficult,” said Wagner. “I was five hours ahead. By the time I was out of class at my university, Charla was just going into classes. So, I was staying up until two or three o’clock in the morning talking on the phone and then having classes the next day.”

‘OF COURSE, I DIDN’T LISTEN.’

Wagner applied to Appalachian State University in January 2000.
Despite the uncertainty of a lasting relationship, Wagner moved to Boone the following fall semester. “I was worried, but not worried enough to not do it,” said Wagner.

Before he arrived, Moats gave him a little reassurance. “I pretty much told him when he got here that if I broke up with him, I would still help him with anything unless he cheated on me or hit me or something,” said Moats.

Friends were wary about the two forming a relationship. “My friend Billy, the guy I was with at the airport, said that I shouldn’t get too involved because you don’t know what people are really like when you meet them on the Internet,” said Moats. “Basically, all my friends said that too. Of course, I didn’t listen.”

“People basically thought I was insane,” said Wagner. “I’d heard of it happening before a couple of times [people dating online]. I didn’t care. People meet in car crashes and plane crashes and tragic events and they get together. It’s kind of like ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ or ‘You’ve Got Mail’.”

Moats’ family was also wary, but Wagner’s parents seemed indifferent. “My mom was afraid he was an axe murderer,” said Moats. “She didn’t want me to be alone with him ever.”

“We [my parents and I] had a long chat, but they didn’t say anything much,” said Wagner. “They probably thought I was insane as well.
They basically let me do what I want.”

Since Wagner and Moats are just one out of three couples that met on the book club chat, their fellow chatters were not surprised they started dating. “I guess it’s just weird,” said Moats. “It is a little freaky because there’s not that many members.”

Although Moats’s family was at first doubtful, they are now comfortable with Wagner. “He pretty much stays at my house on the weekends, so my parents see him about every other weekend and sometimes in the summer,” said Moats. “He’s kind of part of the family now.”

After a year and a half of living in America and dating Moats, Wagner is hopeful about the future of their relationship. “It’s going good,” said Wagner. “I think I’m going to stay here in America and hopefully get married to Charla.”

“If you’re lucky,” said Moats, smiling.

“If I’m lucky and if I survive,” said Wagner.